A: Thanks for asking. Perhaps the most important question you can ask now is, “How important is religion to me and to my girlfriend?” If a fervent Catholic marries a fervent Methodist, there may be fewer problems than if a so-so believer marries someone very serious about religion. If two religiously lukewarm people marry, formal religion will probably not influence that marriage significantly. Are you ready for years of going to Sunday Mass by yourself? Are you willing to assume responsibility for educating your children as Catholics? What does your girlfriend think about this? The Catholic Church encourages its members to marry other Catholics. Why? Because of the spouse’s anticipated religious example and assistance within the marriage and with the religious education of children. Some mixed marriages work out much better than the marriage of lukewarm Catholics. Why? Both partners in the mixed marriage may take their religion seriously enough to face their differences and how those will influence this marriage. Marriage is the most beautiful, fundamental and complex human relationship. Facing religious differences now may strengthen your relationship tremendously—or reveal a problem bound to arise later. Now is the best time to address this issue.

By Father Pat McCloskey, O.F.M